As I sort of felt coming, RuPaul's Drag Race ended, and all I feel is relief. It was an overly-long season that was capped with an overly-long finale. Sure, the right person won, but it came at the conclusion of a 90-minute finale that really only featured 20 minutes of content.
Instead we were treated to extended runway walks from this season's queens (and plenty of previous gals), unnecessary video packages that really said nothing at all about the final four and a performance from what could only be described as an off-brand Robyn.
I can't bear to recap all the recaps, so let's pick up where it matters: the lip syncs.
By now, you know the rules: The wheel picks the first lip syncer, she picks her opponent. The opponent picks the box with the track.
The wheel selects Silky, and she looks instantly shook. She chooses Brooke, and already the writing is on the wall. Throw all the wheels and boxes and Pit Crew at this you want; we all know it's coming down to Yvie vs. Brooke 2: Electric Boogaloo.
So, Silky and Brooke break it down to Destiny's Child “Bootylicious.” The Velour Effect is still being felt as both queens break out the reveals and tearaways. Brooke deploys hers via patent leather foot covers that reveal ballet shoes so she could — you guessed it — do some pointe work. Silky sticks to more traditional tearaways and wig reveals. She looks good, but nothing is utterly gag-worthy.
Their performances are also just fine. Brooke is great, but it's all stuff we've seen. Silky is much better than her last lip sync against Nina, but it's still some pretty sloppy shablams and throwing herself all over the floor. Brooke is declared the winner, as expected.
The next round features A'Keria and Yvie performing “S.O.S.” by Rihanna. Yvie is wearing a full Jim Henson Workshop, while A'Keria looks radiant in blue sparkles. They're both having fun, but is it memorable? Not particularly. Yvie wins, duh.
Hey, look! It's season 10 Miss Congeniality and All Stars 4 co-winner Monet X Change. She's looking fabulous in a signature pussycat wig, here to award this year's Miss Congeniality. As I suspected, Nina West is declared the winner and reacts with a perfectly timed “Meh.”
(I feel ya, sis.)
OK, so finale finale time, for real. It's Brooke and Yvie tearing it up to Lady Gaga's surging “Edge of Glory.” This oughta be good!
Brooke comes out in an over-sized jacket emblazoned with the word “REVEAL” all over it. Cute. When she turns away from the audience during the performance, the back reads “Here Comes the Reveal,” just in time for her to show off the incredible black, gold and silver mirrored bodysuit underneath. It was a tongue-in-cheek response to the increasingly stunty finale moments that still managed to deliver one of its own.
Yvie, meanwhile, is stunning in a mirrored lotus headdress that gives the illusion she has three faces. It's unspeakably beautiful and cool. Surely the highlight of the entire evening (and one of the greatest lewks in Drag Race herstory), the headdress packed its own reveal, hiding another face on the back that enabled Yvie to give a dizzying spin.
Unfortunately, overall the lip sync fails to live up to their previous encounter. They LOOK great, but nothing they're doing has me GOOPED. Not that they're not trying. Brooke is practically a pinball bouncing around the stage. The downside of Yvie's gorgeous gown is it sort of hampers her uniquely nimble performance style. With a song this good on a stage so grand, it's hard not to have a good time watching them, but it's certainly not legendary.
Out comes last season's winner, Aquaria, looking sickening, as always. Many queens have tried to tell a phoenix story on the runway, but none have come close to topping this. There's a reason she got the crown.
Ru announces the winner, and it's … YVIE ODDLY!!!
This was 100 percent the right choice. Yvie is unique, creative and executes well. She's got a compelling backstory, and I think viewers are going to be genuinely happy to see her realize her dream. Brooke had a good claim for the crown, but she'll be fine without the win. Yvie is the happy ending we deserve.
What did you think of the finale?
